TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-23 · field of 110 weighed in · median liquidity $2,885 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 10901115.2 +175.4% Reigning champion ▣ Jimothy 4-0, belt since 2026-07-21, no defenses yet

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · NINJIMOTHY vs normoids

Green corner · favorite
NINJIMOTHY(1-0)
NINJIMOTHY / SOL
vol $1,357,246
liq $52,496
24h +1,281%
flags 0
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
normoids(0-1)
normoids / SOL
vol $2,014,621
liq $38,574
24h +648%
flags 1
DESK LINE: NINJIMOTHY -141 · normoids +141
implied 59% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

NINJIMOTHYnormoids
$1,357,24624h volumeis anyone trading it$2,014,621
$52,496liquiditycan anyone leave$38,574
+1,281%24h movethe candle+648%
25.9xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash52.2x
61.9composite scorethe desk's number58.2
0red flagscommission notes1
35,73524h transactionsbodies in the building36,087
14,093unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake5,208
$454,166FDVreported, not judged$216,824

Judges' Scorecard

RoundNINJIMOTHYnormoids
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
1010
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
1010
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
109
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
109
Totals · unanimous decision5048
The desk's verdictNINJIMOTHY takes it on turnover, discipline. normoids spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Unanimous decision.

The Undercard

Kyle(1-0)W
vol $1,859,285 · liq $52,963 · +202%
VS
50-46 · -140/+140
Syrax(0-1)
vol $1,906,189 · liq $24,381 · +213% · ▲1
Kyle takes it on liquidity, turnover, discipline. Syrax spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Unanimous decision.
GROK(0-1)
vol $54,756 · liq $121,649 · +5,964%
VS
45-49 · -101/+101
WKET(1-0)
vol $7,068,727 · liq $258,596 · +122%
KET takes it on volume, liquidity, turnover. GROK showed up, which counts for something. Split decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
USOH (United States Oil Holdings) $355,922 walked in unassisted
USOH (USOH) $227,532 walked in unassisted
AORP (American Oil Relief Program) $183,873 walked in unassisted
GROK (Grok Conjecture) $124,215 walked in unassisted
HONEY (Justice for Honey) $30,064 walked in unassisted

The Obituaries · fighters featured on past cards, since departed

The departedFeaturedLiquidity thenLiquidity nowCause of death
Jimothy (Jimothy / SOL) 2026-07-22 $623,391 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
HeavyPulp (HeavyPulp / SOL) 2026-07-22 $280,696 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
BOP (BOP / SOL) 2026-07-22 $123,431 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Cricket (Cricket / SOL) 2026-07-22 $32,598 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
psyopcat (psyopcat / SOL) 2026-07-22 $29,130 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
ANSEMOTHY (ANSEMOTHY / SOL) 2026-07-22 $25,085 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
febu (febu / SOL) 2026-07-21 $168,848 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
GMEBULL (GMEBULL / SOL) 2026-07-21 $97,476 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
WHALE (WHALE / SOL) 2026-07-21 $40,644 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Rigby (Rigby / SOL) 2026-07-21 $32,790 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Irradimus (Irradimus / SOL) 2026-07-21 $17,404 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
PUMP (PUMP / USDC) 2026-07-20 $14,601,789 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened

The desk notes the median token covered here goes to zero. This section exists because that is not a metaphor.

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
normoids volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading
Syrax volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus

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