TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-20 · field of 110 weighed in · median liquidity $1,836 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 680731.6 +113.9% Reigning champion ▣ febu 2-0, belt since 2026-07-11, 1 defense

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · POB vs JACOBIAN

Green corner · favorite
POB(2-0)
POB / SOL
vol $1,431,922
liq $69,202
24h +661%
flags 0
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
JACOBIAN(0-1)
JACOBIAN / SOL
vol $4,747,612
liq $67,262
24h +1,935%
flags 1
DESK LINE: POB -115 · JACOBIAN +115
implied 54% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

POBJACOBIAN
$1,431,92224h volumeis anyone trading it$4,747,612
$69,202liquiditycan anyone leave$67,262
+661%24h movethe candle+1,935%
20.7xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash70.6x
62.0composite scorethe desk's number60.4
0red flagscommission notes1
25,81724h transactionsbodies in the building74,893
4,219unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake8,974
$685,816FDVreported, not judged$606,502

Judges' Scorecard

RoundPOBJACOBIAN
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
910
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
1010
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
109
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
109
Totals · split decision4948
The desk's verdictPOB takes it on turnover, discipline. JACOBIAN spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.

The Undercard

nice(0-1)
vol $4,745,227 · liq $30,390 · +305% · ▲1
VS
46-47 · -344/+344
WBULLCAT(2-0)
vol $1,893,681 · liq $105,240 · +80%
BULLCAT takes it on liquidity, turnover, discipline. nice spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.
PUMP(0-1)
vol $5,170,383 · liq $14,601,789 · +16%
VS
47-49 · -106/+106
WANSEM(3-0)
vol $9,258,000 · liq $2,008,657 · +15%
ANSEM takes it on volume, turnover. PUMP showed up, which counts for something. Split decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
USOH (United States Oil Holdings) $239,181 walked in unassisted
DOW (Department of Wealth) $173,388 walked in unassisted
big week (Big Week on Solana) $31,863 walked in unassisted
Pickle (Jacobian Cat) $27,707 walked in unassisted
Jerboa (Jerboa) $23,945 walked in unassisted

The Obituaries · fighters featured on past cards, since departed

The departedFeaturedLiquidity thenLiquidity nowCause of death
MrSue (MrSue / SOL) 2026-07-19 $68,408 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Agamemnon (Agamemnon / SOL) 2026-07-19 $53,969 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
SUB (SUB / SOL) 2026-07-19 $35,179 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Benny (Benny / SOL) 2026-07-19 $32,744 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
TROJAN (TROJAN / SOL) 2026-07-19 $29,153 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
POB (POB / SOL) 2026-07-19 $24,409 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Jimothy (Jimothy / SOL) 2026-07-18 $334,674 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Mouse (Mouse / SOL) 2026-07-18 $92,046 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Sagawa (Sagawa / SOL) 2026-07-18 $54,468 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
FOMO (FOMO / SOL) 2026-07-18 $44,179 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Birdie (Birdie / SOL) 2026-07-18 $36,651 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Pedro (Pedro / SOL) 2026-07-18 $31,101 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened

The desk notes the median token covered here goes to zero. This section exists because that is not a metaphor.

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
JACOBIAN volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading
nice volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus

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