TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-21 · field of 110 weighed in · median liquidity $2,144 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 1728183.1 +153.9% Reigning champion ▣ Jimothy 3-0, belt since 2026-07-21, no defenses yet

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · GMEBULL vs WHALE

Green corner · favorite
GMEBULL(1-0)
GMEBULL / SOL
vol $2,980,861
liq $97,476
24h +2,404%
flags 0
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
WHALE(0-1)
WHALE / SOL
vol $1,312,934
liq $40,644
24h +675%
flags 0
DESK LINE: GMEBULL -118 · WHALE +118
implied 54% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

GMEBULLWHALE
$2,980,86124h volumeis anyone trading it$1,312,934
$97,476liquiditycan anyone leave$40,644
+2,404%24h movethe candle+675%
30.6xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash32.3x
63.4composite scorethe desk's number61.6
0red flagscommission notes0
31,76924h transactionsbodies in the building34,270
12,251unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake6,312
$1,373,993FDVreported, not judged$241,748

Judges' Scorecard

RoundGMEBULLWHALE
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
109
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
109
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
1010
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
1010
Totals · unanimous decision5048
The desk's verdictGMEBULL takes it on volume, liquidity. WHALE showed up, which counts for something. Unanimous decision.

The Undercard

Rigby(1-0)W
vol $2,755,102 · liq $32,790 · +396% · ▲1
VS
49-46 · -155/+155
Irradimus(0-1)
vol $52,503 · liq $17,404 · +760%
Rigby takes it on volume, liquidity, turnover. Irradimus showed up, which counts for something. Split decision.
Jimothy(3-0)W
vol $12,597,357 · liq $498,241 · +106%
VS
50-46 · -200/+200
febu(2-1)
vol $1,228,074 · liq $168,848 · +87%
Jimothy takes it on volume, liquidity, turnover. febu showed up, which counts for something. Unanimous decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
DOWNTIME (ChatGPT is down) $37,204 walked in unassisted
Irradimus (The Lone Star Tick) $29,313 walked in unassisted
BABYJIMOTHY (Baby Jimothy) $25,083 walked in unassisted
SCOOBERT (The Official Scoobert Coin) $15,138 walked in unassisted
BOINKO (Boinko Coin) $13,505 walked in unassisted

The Obituaries · fighters featured on past cards, since departed

The departedFeaturedLiquidity thenLiquidity nowCause of death
PUMP (PUMP / USDC) 2026-07-20 $14,601,789 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
ANSEM (ANSEM / SOL) 2026-07-20 $2,008,657 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
BULLCAT (BULLCAT / SOL) 2026-07-20 $105,240 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
POB (POB / SOL) 2026-07-20 $69,202 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
JACOBIAN (JACOBIAN / SOL) 2026-07-20 $67,262 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
nice (nice / SOL) 2026-07-20 $30,390 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
MrSue (MrSue / SOL) 2026-07-19 $68,408 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Agamemnon (Agamemnon / SOL) 2026-07-19 $53,969 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
SUB (SUB / SOL) 2026-07-19 $35,179 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Benny (Benny / SOL) 2026-07-19 $32,744 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
TROJAN (TROJAN / SOL) 2026-07-19 $29,153 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Jimothy (Jimothy / SOL) 2026-07-18 $334,674 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened

The desk notes the median token covered here goes to zero. This section exists because that is not a metaphor.

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
Rigby volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus

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