TALKINGSHITCOIN
Tonight's Card · 2026-07-24 · field of 110 weighed in · median liquidity $1,711 · sanctioned by nobody
SHIT Index 21270360.9 +95.1% Reigning champion ▣ Jimothy 5-0, belt since 2026-07-21, no defenses yet

MAIN EVENT · 5 rounds · looong vs Cricket

Green corner · favorite
looong(0-1)
looong / SOL
vol $7,991,846
liq $130,429
24h +6,065%
flags 1
VS
5 judged rounds
Red corner · challenger
Cricket(2-0)
Cricket / SOL
vol $1,591,606
liq $36,825
24h +401%
flags 0
DESK LINE: looong -107 · Cricket +107
implied 52% on the favorite, derived from the composite score, not from our feelings

Tale of the Tape

looongCricket
$7,991,84624h volumeis anyone trading it$1,591,606
$130,429liquiditycan anyone leave$36,825
+6,065%24h movethe candle+401%
61.3xturnover (vol/liq)past 50x smells like wash43.2x
62.0composite scorethe desk's number61.3
1red flagscommission notes0
102,69924h transactionsbodies in the building18,545
13,297unique buyersdistinct wallets, harder to fake2,604
$1,861,428FDVreported, not judged$196,794

Judges' Scorecard

RoundlooongCricket
R1 volume
real trading interest, 1.5x takes the round, 10x takes it big
109
R2 liquidity
depth of the exit door, same bar
109
R3 momentum
24h move, capped so one candle cannot steal the fight
1010
R4 turnover
healthy churn scores, wash-trade churn is penalized
810
R5 discipline
fewest red flags on file
910
Totals · split decision4748
The desk's verdictCricket takes it on turnover, discipline. looong spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.

The Undercard

PUNY(0-1)
vol $5,466,729 · liq $31,696 · +329% · ▲1
VS
46-48 · -276/+276
WTilly(1-0)
vol $748,719 · liq $67,330 · +141%
Tilly takes it on liquidity, turnover, discipline. PUNY spent the fight arguing with the commission about 1 open flag. Split decision.
KET(1-1)
vol $2,424,498 · liq $289,750 · +24%
VS
47-49 · -102/+102
WJimothy(5-0)
vol $18,093,792 · liq $638,795 · -26%
Jimothy takes it on volume, liquidity, turnover. KET showed up, which counts for something. Split decision.

New Blood · completed pump.fun bonding, now eligible for the arena

DebutWeigh-in liquidityPromotional assistance
USWR (USWR) $506,419 walked in unassisted
VORF (Vanguard Oil Retirement Fund) $402,812 walked in unassisted
NTFS (National Trust Fund System) $386,247 walked in unassisted
USOH (USOH) $334,490 walked in unassisted
USOS (USOS) $219,063 walked in unassisted

The Obituaries · fighters featured on past cards, since departed

The departedFeaturedLiquidity thenLiquidity nowCause of death
KET (KET / SOL) 2026-07-23 $258,596 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
GROK (GROK / SOL) 2026-07-23 $121,649 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Kyle (Kyle / SOL) 2026-07-23 $52,963 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
NINJIMOTHY (NINJIMOTHY / SOL) 2026-07-23 $52,496 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
normoids (normoids / SOL) 2026-07-23 $38,574 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Syrax (Syrax / SOL) 2026-07-23 $24,381 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Jimothy (Jimothy / SOL) 2026-07-22 $623,391 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
HeavyPulp (HeavyPulp / SOL) 2026-07-22 $280,696 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
BOP (BOP / SOL) 2026-07-22 $123,431 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
Cricket (Cricket / SOL) 2026-07-22 $32,598 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
psyopcat (psyopcat / SOL) 2026-07-22 $29,130 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened
ANSEMOTHY (ANSEMOTHY / SOL) 2026-07-22 $25,085 $0 delisted from the index entirely; the venue denies the fight ever happened

The desk notes the median token covered here goes to zero. This section exists because that is not a metaphor.

Commission Notes · open flags on tonight's participants

FighterFlag on file
looong volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading
PUNY volume/liquidity ratio smells like wash trading

Flags are mechanical: turnover past 50x liquidity, exit doors under $5k, FDV/liquidity past 500x. A flag costs points on the composite score and loses the discipline round. The commission does not negotiate.

Paid Promotions Desk

The following fighters purchased their own hype. They are quarantined from the card and ineligible for the main event, regardless of score. We report this fact with the gravity it deserves.

FighterVolumeLiquidityStatus

Every card is archived. Browse past fight nights or read how the judging works.

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